Migrating some previous writing | Thoughts on the word “vwm” (“crazy”)

Note: This piece is a Facebook post that I made in early 2022. The post was part of a conversation that happened in the public Facebook group named “Supporting All Abilities, Welcoming All Voices“, otherwise known as “SAWV“, the Hmong word for “rise” or “stand”.

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Hi. This post is a response to SAWV’s Terminology Thursday post on the Hmong word “vwm” or “crazy”. Sharing in case some of you are not part of SAWV’s Facebook group (Which is a public group! And that’s why I’m comfortable sharing on my personal page too.)

The prompt for this Terminology Thursday was:

“TERMINOLOGY THURSDAY

The word featured today was suggested by a SAWV member. The Hmong word is “vwm”. The English translation is: “crazy”.

Please comment below what you think about this term. Here are some questions to answer in your response:

1) Is this a term the Hmong community has used to talk about disability?

2) Why do you think this term has been used?

3) Why do you think this word is problematic?

SAWV recognizes the history of this word and its negative impact. We’d like to share a personal story from NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness that’ll help give you insight about this term: https://www.nami.org/personal-stories/don-t-call-me-crazy”

The rest of this post is my response. Thanks for reading if you do!

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Okay! I am back with my thoughts.

As a mad/mentally ill person with a history of severe mental illness diagnoses, I have a long complicated relationship with this word “vwm” or “crazy”. Some of you might not be surprised that I had negative experiences with these terms from the beginning of my mental health journey. And as I began to learn about ableism and sanism, I was strongly against anyone using these words, ever.

But then something was amiss for me, because in one of my hospitalizations, one of my peers who I consider a good friend called me “crazy” in a way that I found caring, endearing, and empowering.

I went for a long time advocating against using “vwm” or “crazy”, and then suddenly I realized that those words were meaningful in a different way for me.

I ended up reclaiming the words, which for those who may not know what reclaiming is, it’s when someone with a marginalized identity intentionally chooses to use a word that is historically demeaning and oppressive to instead empower themselves. You’ll see words like “crip” or “mad” used by some folx in the disability community. For me, “vwm” and “crazy” were the same thing.

When I moved in this direction, I realized that there were so many people around me who were avoiding using the terms. And I questioned how that made me feel as someone who had reclaimed them for myself. It seemed like everyone had an opinion on something that they shouldn’t–because they didn’t have the same experiences as I or other mad/mentally ill folx have had.

I think of someone I talked to years ago, who when I told them that I was “vwm”, told me, “No, Nancy, koj tsis vwm os. Neeg vwm ces yog neeg xiam hlwb thiab neeg xiam hlwb ces yog neeg dangerous.” And I point this out specifically, because I think so often in our communities people immediately equate “crazy” to “bad” or “evil” or “dangerous”. That’s actually the epitome of sanism, where people will assume that a mad/mentally ill person is innately dangerous and just bad.

Just like how people don’t think meaningfully about the impact of their use of “vwm” or “crazy”, I don’t think people think meaningfully about what their intentions are when they avoid using the terms “vwm” or “crazy”. I’ve seen so many people avoid these terms and then say things like “people aren’t crazy, they’re just having a bad day”, or “kuv tsis yog neeg vwm, kuv muaj kev nyuaj siab xwb.” And that makes me think, what does what you’re saying mean about your thoughts on people like *me*? How is what you are saying erasing me and my experiences as an *actually* crazy person? Because when people say these things, in reality, they are saying that they are avoiding these terms not because they think ableism and sanism is bad, but actually because they think *being crazy* is bad. Which is–take note–actually pretty ableist and sanist.

In more recent times, I definitely feel better about using the terms “vwm” or “crazy”, in certain situations for myself. But I won’t lie, once you start listening, you’ll hear these terms EVERYWHERE (and I mean “vwm” too, not just “crazy”). I’m still critical every time I hear these words, even if I don’t point it out to people regularly. And I don’t point it out regularly because I think it’s a much more nuanced conversation than people will think it is. People definitely need to think more about the intent of their choices and the impact of their actions when it comes to these terms.

In conclusion (TL;DR):  I used to feel bad about using “vwm” or “crazy”. But then I reclaimed them and realized people were avoiding them for the wrong reasons.

I will end with the last note to remind people that only some people have the right to reclaim certain words. And that includes “vwm” and “crazy”.

This is super long-winded, but I think that’s all I have to say! For anyone who has read thus far, take note that when I type up long things, I usually post and then come back to edit later if I see fit. Thank you for the opportunity to reflect on this.